Russia's child is full of grace
by Maddchick13
Summary: United (UsUk child) visits his cousin, Rucan (Ruscan). Unfortunately, he runs into France's perverted daughter, who attempts something horrid on the British-American. Rucan snaps, living up to his Russian heritage. Guest starring Canada! C: (OC nation children, got bored of just seeing this on my desktop without doing anything. T for very suggestive themes, may change to M later)


United had come to visit his cousins in Canada (Wherever that was). He was sitting in his room that he was sharing with his cousin, Ru-something, when the door flew open. He turned to see a girl with the same hair as France standing in the doorway.

She was wearing a low cutting tank top that was a bit too short and shorts that barely covered her. She was wearing a beret and her blue eyes shone with... something terrifying.

"Hello... Um... What are you doing in my room?" He asked awkwardly, his british accent thickening with worry.

"Oh, nothing, mon Cher' I was simply looking at the beauty that is you." United blushed at the compliment, not used to receiving one from a girl (no, Ruvia did not count!). The girl moved closer, making United stand up and walk over to the wall.

"I am Francine, and you are?" She said, walking over and placing an arm on either side of United's face.

"U-united" He managed to stutter out. She smirked.

"Nice to meet you, United." Then, her lips were shoved against United's, pushing his glasses against his face uncomfortably. He let out a startled squeak, trying to get away from her.

When she pulled away, United tried to push her off, but she was quick to grab the back of his head and pull him into another kiss. United squirmed in displeasure, but she took it for something else. She moved one of her hands away from the back of his head and started unbuttoning his shirt with practiced ease.

"S-stop!" United yelped as she moved her hand to his pants. Francine looked up at him, smirking.

"No." United squirmed in displeasure as her hand tugged slightly at his underpants.

"Help!" He cried out. As if flying green mint bunny heard him, the door opened to reveal his cousin. Rucan was reading a book.

"United, you're really-Hey! What are you doing?!" Rucan said in that whispery voice of his. Francine looked up from the boy pinned under her.

"Hello." She purred "Who are you?" United whimpered in pain. Rucan stared at her in shock.

"What are you doing to my cousin?" He whispered again. Francine wiped some stray saliva off her chin, grinning up at him.

"I am merely doing him a favor, freeing him from the world of virgins." United moaned unwillingly as she pawed him through the fabric.

"Oh, dear god, please don't. Don't do this. Why would you do this?" At the sight of his cousin coming unhinged under a woman he didn't like, Rucan snapped.

He marched over to her and yanked her ear, effectively sending her tumbling off United. She was laying down, gasping for air when Rucan straddled her, pulling a Hockey stick out of seemingly thin air. The small blonde boy pressed the stick to her throat, making it even harder for her to breath.

"I am only going to give you one warning, **Bitch.**" He hissed, pressing down on her throat as a purple aura appeared behind him.

"You are going to leave my cousin alone. And if I_** ever**_ even catch you so much as _**LOOKING**_ at him again, I will tear out your _heart_ and feed it to my **seal**." He leant down and whispered in her ear.

"I am understood, Da?" The girl nodded, gulping. Rucan was standing when she reached out and pulled his curl.

United looked over at the smirk on Francines face. Rucan's eye twitched and United knew that Francine was going to regret that for the rest of her life.

"You are so screwed" He whispered, now slightly hysterical.

Rucan looked down at the girl and glared. Francine gulped, knowing she had crossed the line. _Shitshitshitshitshit_ She thought.

Rucan beat her with his hockey stick, then tossed her out of his room.

"Stay the _Hell_ outta my **room**, Stay the _Hell_ avay from **me** and If I _ever_ fucking see you vith my cousin **again**...!" Francine gulped. "I vill beat the ever living shit from your _cold_, _dead body_ and leave your remains scattered in the ocean vhere no one vill **ever** find them." Then the door slammed.

Rucan was glowering at the floor. United flopped onto the bed.

"Dude, what was that?" He said, emotionally exhausted. Rucan sighed, shifting over to lay next to United.

"That was Russian." United nodded.

"Oh." _Note to self_ he thought _Never, ever, ever piss off Rucan._

:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:

The next morning, Canada came in to wake the duo up for breakfast and came across the most adorable sight ever. The two had passed out on the bed and snuggled up to each other sometime during the night. In fact, right now they were curled up together. Canada smiled and shut the door softly.

He could always reheat the pancakes.

~FIN~


End file.
